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Romance Dies from Unnatural Causes

This was passed along to me recently…

Although the reports are that Romance died this week from unnatural causes, some suspect the fickle candle of life flickered its last flame due to old age. She spent her last years in the Happy Valentine Assisted Loving Facility where, in later years, her visitors were few and far between. Some came to mourn her, while others came to encourage her to hold on. Still others came merely to pay their last respects, knowing the end was inevitable.

Romance’s absence will leave a hole in our hearts, but she will be especially missed by her friends Tenderness, Grace, and Forgiveness, who were there even when she was wrapped up in her own dalliances.

Maybe more than anyone, Romance will be missed by her longtime sweetheart and dedicated companion, Humor, who stayed by her side through thick and thin till the very end. Their chemistry was legendary, even accounting for the rare spat when Romance felt she wasn’t being taken seriously. Their occasional bit of discord was always dissolved in laughter.

Romance is survived by her mother, Love. Her father, Logic, who left before Romance could walk, was last spotted wandering the streets of Wisconsin, looking dazed and slightly confused. While, over the years, there was talk of a possible reunion, somehow the timing never was quite right.

There will be no wake or special services for Romance. She wanted to go the way she came, quietly, so you couldn’t peg the moment of her arrival but once there, you never wanted her to leave.

Theories abound as to the source of her demise. Some say neglect from her larger social circles played a part. Others point to the tin soldiers of technology and their arsenal of gadgetry. An older acquaintance of mine used to say concealment is sexy. Assuming that the case, the creation of the tools of endless access must certainly take a bow here. No more waiting by the phone, or wondering if he, or she, or they are thinking about you; our feelings are cracked, split, and splattered on the plasma screen, if not by ourselves, then by the incessant observers.

Still others say she simply felt useless. It’s true she hadn’t danced of late. All the movies did was frighten her. And she was distracted during dinners out by the number of fellow patrons openly snapping photos if their food. She found it unappetizing. So she and Humor stayed in most nights, dining on cold pizza and drinking the occasional bourbon.

They say that true Love never dies. Romance being the only child, maybe she inherited that trait. Listen for her closely. Her knock is very soft. If you’re lucky enough for her visit, make sure you let her in. She just might’ve brought her old friend with her. Let me tell you, they make quite the pair.

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