Gee, Dad, that’s great.


“the Greatest Ever”? As in kick your ass great? As in no whammies great? As in big money great? As in Tony the Tiger great? 

As in, Gee Dad that’s great.  Thanks … FOR RUINING MY LIFE! 

(as in it’s great that I don’t have a five-year old to explain this one to — as seen on 7th Ave, Park Slope, today)

Quick, Quick, While It’s Not Raining

Has anyone seen little wild onions growing in their Brooklyn yard or garden lately?  These little spermazoidal looking creatures have taken over my front yard.  Just when I was getting all excited that they must be native, and was about to introduce them out back where persistently naked patches of dirt abound, I suddenly realized they may be vicious invaders, ready to choke out the handful of natural inhabitants residing back there. 

QUESTION: should I plant these mystery onions out back (they grow so quickly and look kinda yummy)?  Or is it ecoirresponsible, since I’m not yet sure from whence they came?  Also, ya think it’s ok to eat them?  (Yes, I’m aware that after the various questions I’ve posed here, I’ll never have dinner friends again). 

One more quickie: I went ahead and bought a $20.00 rose bush from my local florist/plant shop, Shannon’s on Fort Hamilton Parkway (it was, after all, only 20 bucks, and I read somewhere that some roses are native to New York – it’s getting late for me to be too picky on the native plant front).  I’ve already clipped a couple whose beautiful pink roses have quickly wilted when just placed in water in a short glass. 

QUESTION: how do you extend the longevity of clipped roses, and is there any use for them other than their prettiness?  Like, where are the rose hips and how do I get them in my tea???